maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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