i barfeds in our rink
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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