WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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