I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize