i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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