You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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