I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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