"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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