hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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