I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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