elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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