Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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