I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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