I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
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Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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