Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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