you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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