Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize