just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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