He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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