He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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