i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
