these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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