For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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