weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize