How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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