I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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