So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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