She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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