Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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