I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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