i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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