i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
PANTIES FOUND
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