You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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