hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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