I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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