bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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