Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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