If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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