she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My vagina is very pro this idea
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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