what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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