i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
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that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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