I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize