Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize