How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I forget how to act sober
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