all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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