he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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