Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize