His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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