Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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