I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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