we're blogging at a bar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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